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Questions to Ask About Daycare
(Got a question we haven't addressed? Please tell us! We'll try to find some answers for you!)
Will it adversely affect my child to be left in daycare? As many people as you'll ask - that's how many answers you'll get. Not everyone has the option or constitution to be a stay-at-home parent. But experts say - and Safer Child tends to agree - that staying at home for some or all of the first three years is generally better for the child. No matter how lousy a parent you feel you are, your child has a powerful and innate longing to be with you and to know that you want to be with him or her. Having said that, the
National Institute
of Child Health and Human Development did a study over seven years and
concluded that daycare quality and quantity seemed to be more important factors
than daycare itself, and other studies have concluded that
children in high-quality daycare have better language, memory and social skills.
However, a more negative assessment of typical daycare
came from the Child Care Bureau
(of the U.S. Department of Health & Human Services), which
listed the conclusions of various
studies in this field. And then there's the adamant advice from Doctors T. Berry Brazelton
and Stanley Greenspan, who wrote The Irreducible Needs of Children: What Every Child Must Have to Grow, Learn, and Flourish However you feel about it, Safer Child reminds you of these things: the earlier you leave a child in daycare, the earlier your child will begin to contract viruses. There is some correlation between early daycare and trouble with ear infections and colds. It's also much harder (albeit not impossible) to continue breastfeeding your child while using daycare. And, as NICHD noted in its study, the more hours a day a young child spends in daycare, the more likely the child may be to have certain problems later. A study released in July 2003 (led by University of Minnesota psychologist Megan Gunnar) indicated that shy children show increased levels of stress hormone in daycare settings. Finally, very young children cannot tell you they aren't receiving adequate care - except perhaps to be clingy or whiny or ill. If your child exhibits these symptoms, pay attention and resist the temptation to just brush them off as simple "separation anxiety." There might be more to it. Some parents stay at home until the child is a toddler or preschooler (and talking) and then begin introducing the child to playgroups and small bits of daycare - gauging how much is too much by the child's reaction.
What are my options for child care?
Many experts recommend that a parent stay home for the first three years. But many families do not have the financial wherewithal, the emotional capability, or perhaps the willingness to do this. In those cases, parents must work hard to find a positive, loving and patient caregiver - trained in first aid, child care, child development and child psychology. In many states, worker training requirements are ridiculously low. And many states don't check for themselves that even those requirements have been met. The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission has several suggestions for checking the safety of a daycare facility. Before you look into any daycare, you may also want to read this April 1999 report from the CPSC on daycare facilities. It will give you a better idea of some of the dangers children face. See also Questions to Ask at a Daycare and also Questions to Ask a Potential Caregiver. Inspections and Background Checks. It's important that the facility in question conduct health and fire inspections and background checks of its caregivers. Don't assume that because a facility or home is open for business, all the safeguards are in place. In many states, inspections are haphazard at best, and non-existent at worst. Or, they're left up to the center itself (in our opinion, that's like asking the mouse to guard the cheese). Preschools, particularly those run by churches, and smaller groups might not be subject to the same requirements as larger day care centers. In Idaho, for example, family day care standards require no checks - fire, health or background - at all. It's also a simple thing for facilities to fool inspectors - in some states, inspectors must notify the center of an upcoming inspection. You're better off to drop in unannounced yourself. If the center is reluctant or opposed to you doing this, ask yourself why. The key here, is caveat emptor. There's good daycare out there, but make no mistake about it: Every year, children die in daycare - sometimes with caregivers who meant well. So check, check and check again before and after leaving your child anywhere. Look the place and people over. Talk to your local regulatory bodies, fire departments or police. Drop in unannounced. Talk to other parents and their children. Ask questions. Expect written proof from the caregivers. Watch your child's reaction and take complaints seriously. If you don't feel confident, trust your instincts. Please don't worry about seeming nosy, bossy or pushy. Your child's life depends on you.
What sort of child to worker ratios do the experts recommend? The National Resource Center for Health and Safety in Child Care (1-800-598-KIDS) and the American Academy of Pediatrics recommend ratios that most Americans will be hard-pressed to find in their state. These optimal standards might be out there, but if they are, Safer Child recommends that parents look closely and make sure that with the low ratios, they're also getting fire and health inspections, background checks and adequate training and care. There might be an unfortunate tradeoff.
We really can't emphasize it enough: Trust your instincts. If you have doubts (which you probably do if you're wondering how truthful she is), and you are not a perpetual worrywart, then there may be something in your child's response or the daycare environment that's alerted you to a problem. (And even if you are a perpetual worrywart, that doesn't mean your gut hasn't stumbled on a real problem.) Remember - there are many daycares out there. Take your doubts seriously. The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission has several suggestions for checking the safety of a daycare facility. See also Questions to Ask at a Daycare and Questions to Ask a Potential Caregiver. We always had a rule of thumb for caregivers. We'd ask ourselves this: If something bad happened while we were gone, would we be shocked and surprised, or would we be kicking ourselves over the doubts we'd had? If we couldn't say we'd be surprised, then it was time to find another caregiver.
Things aren’t being done properly/safely/compassionately/gently/legally at our daycare/by our child’s caregiver or daycare center. What should I do? Should I mention my suspicions to other parents? Really, if you know there are problems, then you already know what to do: It's time to find another caregiver - and as soon as physically possible. After all, your child is the one spending time there, and your child depends on you to make sure the environment is a good one. Don't allow your child to grow up in an unsafe or even less-than-optimal environment. As for mentioning your concerns to other parents, Safer Child feels this depends on the problem. Perhaps your child simply doesn't get along with the caregiver, but you feel the caregiver works well with other children. Fine. Move your child and don't offer advice unless you're asked. But if you feel something isn't being done safely or legally, then Safer Child believes you have a clear responsibility to notify your state department of Health and Welfare and/or the police. Your responsibility is to your child, but it's also to the other children who depend on adults like you to help keep them safe.
Safer Child hasn't yet found a satisfactory answer to the latter question, so if you find someone who will listen and who has the power to make change, please tell us. We wish you the best of success, and please tell us what happens! We have attempted to forward our concerns to various news and media outlets (to absolutely zero effect), and are now looking at government and advocacy organizations such as the ones found in our links section.
What should I do to reward a good caregiver? That's entirely up to you. Some parents give money; some give gifts. Some choose to do nothing, and that's their right. Our caregivers often become part of our family, so we enjoy giving them gifts. We don't go overboard, but we like to give something simple that says, "Thank you for taking good care of our child; we appreciate your dedication." This is a topic you can address with the director of the daycare, with other parents, or even with the caregiver herself.
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