Preventing Abductions

Here are other tips and suggestions for you:

	Trust your instincts. If you have doubts, listen to them. Your body sometimes knows what your head hasn't yet figured out. So if someone doesn't make you feel safe, it's OK to run away and tell an adult you trust. Go here for more on trusting your instincts.
	It's OK to say no. If someone tries to grab you, it's OK to scream, fight, kick and get away. You can work out misunderstandings later, but the important thing is to get away.
	It's a good thing to tell. Even if you've been taught that "ratting is bad," remember that a person who tries to hurt you will probably also try to hurt someone else. Please tell an adult you trust, and help to keep that person from hurting someone you know. Don't struggle with a situation on your own. Four good questions to ask: I. Is the behavior illegal? 2. Is the behavior dangerous to someone? 3. What is the worst thing that can happen? 4. If the worst thing happens, will I be sorry I didn't tell?
	It's OK to yell for help. We like the phrase: "Help, police! He's not my father!" or "Help, police! She's not my mother!" We think this gives other people permission to help you.
	It's OK to let go. If someone tries to grab you, it's OK to let go of whatever you're holding (even if it's textbooks, groceries, your brand new bike, or your dog). Your bike can be repurchased, your dog will get found later, but there is only one you, and you need all your energy and strength for getting away.
	Never approach someone who asks for help. People don't ask children for help, so if someone does, it's a sign of danger. Helping people is a good thing, but the help should come from an adult, not from you. Here's a simple rule to remember: If you're approached by an adult stranger for any sort of help or information, it's wrong. Run, and tell an adult you trust.
	Never approach cars. Never approach a car if an adult (or a child in the car) calls you over. It might seem like having a car door between you and a stranger is protection for you, but actually, the car makes it easier for a dangerous person to grab you and drive away. Let an adult help the people in the car.
	No gifts, rides, or secrets. Don't accept gifts or rides from people you don't know (if you need help getting home, go to a store, restaurant, police station, government office or business and call for help from there). If someone tells you to keep a secret from your mom or your dad, don't do it! Tell your parents right away. That's a big sign of danger.
	Have a code word. Have your parents set up a code word that's easy to remember. Never leave with someone or get in a car with someone (even if it's someone you know) if that person doesn't know the code word. Even if that person says it's an emergency and your parents desperately need you! (Dangerous people will say all sorts of terrible lies to get you to go with them!). Don't ever tell anyone else the code word. If they don't know it, they don't need to know it.
	Call for your parents, then ask a clerk or a woman. If you get lost in a store, at a park, or at a playground, first call for your parents. They might be just around a corner. Then, ask for help from a person who works for the store (or if you can't find a clerk, go to a woman -- especially a woman with a child -- and ask for help). Don't leave the store, park or playground with anyone, even with the woman or someone else in a uniform. Don't allow anyone to take you into the bathroom or outside to a car. And if you happen to choose a woman who doesn't make you feel safe, find someone else.
	Choose your own person to help you. If you get lost, you're almost always better off to choose someone to help you -- than to have someone choose you. Ask a woman, a clerk, or use the phone to call 911. Remember that you don't need change to call 911 on a payphone.
	It's OK to stop. If someone wants you to do something that feels bad or yucky, it's OK to stop, run away, and tell an adult.
	You are still OK. If someone succeeds in making you do something that didn't feel right, that hurt you, that scared you, or that made you feel funny or weird -- remember these things no matter what the person tells you: It isn't your fault You didn't ask for it You aren't a bad person. It's always OK to stop, and run away. It's always OK to tell an adult, especially if someone has told you that you can't tell. It's always OK to come home. Don't let anyone tell you that your parents don't love you, don't want you, that you've hurt them, or that they've moved or died. Trust us -- your parents still love you, they still want you, and they are desperate to have you come home!

Go to Top

	Internet Affection: You must always keep in your mind that the Internet is anonymous -- this means that dangerous people are very good at pretending to be your friend. Don't trust any messages you get over the Internet and never set up secret meetings with anyone you meet over the Internet. If someone gets affectionate with you, sends you pornography, asks for pictures or personal information about you, or tells you to keep a secret, these are all signs of danger. Tell your parents right away. See our Internet Safety page for more.
	Special Affection for you: Someone's affection for you might make you feel funny. People might say they love you more than anyone else, or that they have a secret for you to keep. Trust your funny feeling -- these are all signs that there's something wrong with the affection.
	Sexual Incidents: Someone might try to show you in a sexual way that he/she has a special love for you. This is not love -- this is violence against you. He/she might show you pictures of people having sex, touch you in private parts, have you touch them in private parts, or engage in some other behavior of a sexual nature. If any of this happens, it is not your fault, and it does not make you a bad person. Tell a trusted adult right away.
	Asking for Assistance: Someone might ask you for help -- for example in finding a puppy, finding a house or store, or finding your parents. Really tricky people might get a child to ask you. Remember: people don't ask children for help -- they ask adults. So if someone asks you for help, it's a sign of danger.
	Bribery: Someone might offer you gifts, rides, toys, a puppy, candy, a job, a chance to be a star, lots of money, or something else you'll find really cool. Don't accept anything -- no matter how tempting -- unless (and only after) your parents say it's OK. And don't ever go anywhere with anyone who says you have to leave to go get a gift.
	Curiosity: Someone might try to exploit your natural (and wonderful) sense of curiosity by offering to show you something cool, exciting, special, fun, magical, dangerous, nasty, sexual -- or whatever other words he/she figures will trick you. Don't fall for this old but very effective trick.
	Authority Figure or Hero: Someone might use a position of authority (policeman, teacher, family friend, relative, Santa Claus, favorite entertainment figure) to get you to go with him. Don't leave a store, mall, park or playground with anyone without your parent's permission or without hearing the special code word. And just because someone knows your name, don't assume everything's OK. He/She might have guessed your name or heard someone calling you. Remember -- if you don't hear the code word, it's OK to refuse to leave. Don't feel badly if you later find out the person was OK. The code word is set up to protect you, and it's a good rule to follow all of the time.
	Crisis Situation: Someone might pretend that your parents are sick, that the house is burning down, that your puppy is lost, that your sister needs you, that your parents want you to come home right now. If you ask for the code word, the person might pretend to have forgotten it. Don't go with anyone who doesn't know the code word -- no matter what! If you aren't sure about the emergency, you can go to a store (by yourself!) and call home or call 911.
	Special Games: Someone might tell you he/she wants to play a special game with you. Don't let anyone take you somewhere else or to a private place to play games. Don't let anyone touch you in private places as part of a "game." If the game isn't being played in front of people you know and trust, it's a big sign of danger.
	Threats of Harm to You or Your Family: People might threaten to hurt you, to hurt your pet, younger sibling, or your parents if you don't go with them or do what they want. This is usually just bluff. They are saying that to make you do what they want. And if they're serious, you need help from the police. So if someone threatens you or your family or points a knife or gun at you -- run away fast and tell an adult you can trust -- or call 911. That's the best way to keep you and your family safe.